Divorce

How much will my divorce cost? Does it have to be contentious? How long will it take? What does sole custody mean?

These are some of the most common questions that are asked when someone wants to get a divorce.  The legal process can take up to a year.  Some of that is within your control, most is not.  The following are suggestions to help you keep your costs down, your stress reduced and your children out of the middle.

– Don’t argue. It is very hard not to get caught up in the old “button-pushing” behavior with your spouse.  It did not produce solutions during the marriage and won’t be productive now.  Stay focused on the end goal you want to achieve and keep the unproductive arguments off the table.

– Set your goals. Let your attorney know what you expect to get out of the divorce process.  Talk with your attorney to make sure you have realistic expectations regarding those goals.  It is more expensive to run two households than one.  The amount of child support is set by the state.  Budgets must be accurate.

– Find a good support system.  This is a very sad and trying time in your life.   A good friend and/or therapist is vital during this time.  Your attorney does care about your feelings but is more concerned about the facts and procedures in your case.  A good therapist, clergy or support group is better suited to help you with the emotional issues resulting from your divorce and is a lot less expensive.

–  Consider mediation.  Frequently the parties can sit down with a mediator and resolve many of the issues.  See mediation. Some attorneys will sit down without mediators and negotiate a property settlement in a four-way setting with their clients.  It depends on the parties and the issues.

No one wins in a divorce or in a custody battle.

Courts in the larger Nebraska cities generally find that it is in the best interest of a child to have an equal relationship with both parents unless there are significant circumstances to do differently.  Even in cases where one parent has sole physical custody, the Courts often award the non-custodial parent significant visitation.  As a result, unless the non-custodial parent is a proven danger to the child, you will both continue to be involved in the child’s life.  This is true, even if there is a step-parent or other relationship of which you do not approve.

No one who participates in litigation about property leaves the courtroom feeling they have won.  When the court makes the decision, both spouses generally end up feeling like they have lost. Your attorney can usually advise you of the general decisions courts make in divorce trials, and what results you can likely expect if your case goes to trial.